the truth is...

that sometimes it hurts. and when it hurts- you speak. you reach out to the ones that you trust. sometimes, they hear what you are saying and sometimes, when you're lucky, they hear what you are trying to say.

today, i am looking forward. period. knowing that i have given of myself. knowing that i will continue to give of myself...

it is a risk to give- but if we never take the risk, we will not know the sweet taste of victory when the cards are played in our favor. that's life- the thrill of not knowing all of the answers- but playing anyways.

i'm coming off of this weekend with my head held high. confident. i played well.

sometimes faith is simply believing that you are not alone. that somehow in the midst of whatever it is you are going through, you believe that you are surrounded by such a cloud as these...it is to look around you and know that you are blessed. that you are victorious because of the life you have been given. to know that your struggle, your experience is what has made you this strong and that same strength will be great enough to carry you through. sometimes faith is just knowing this. just believing...this. you are never alone.

"my neighbor likes where I stay...but doesn't know the price that I pay..."

peace of mind

it's the theme right now, because i need it. the mind is so unbelievably powerful- when under control- i am wise and strong and motivated. when it is weak- i am weak. i am hopeless. i am...how i am right now. on the verge of tears. stomach in knots. stress gripping my body and making my dumb siatic nerve pulse through my back, down my hips and into my leg and foot.

it's amazing...how simply we can overcome fear and obstacles...with a clear mind. and even more amazing how difficult it is to actually have one.

i've got to find peace of mind...

i know it's possible.

i walk by faith

i don't know where i'm going. i don't know what tomorrow holds. i don't know what i want or how to get there and it's the fear of the unknown. what i know is this...i have walked before with no light ahead. i have travelled a distance with no guarantee. i have woken up with hope when the sky seemed to be falling...and at the end of the day...i stood. i stood strong, firm and undefeated. it's this memory of the walk that reminds me that no fear is too great. no storm is too strong. no trial too great. the fact that i made it once gives me hope that i'll make it again. that's how i walk...by faith. by hope that this time will not be unlike the last- when my foot hits the ground, i won't be disappointed. i travel, i live, i walk...by faith.

peace of mind...

"He says it's impossible, but I know it's possible..."

Listening to Lauryn Hill now- Unplugged.

"I've got to find peace of mind...."

"You've made my desire pure..."

"You inspire me to be the higher me."

"Touch my mouth with your Hands..."

Merciful, merciful, merciful God.

need someone

Today is hard. Real hard. The lump in my throat isn't gone. I need someone. I really do. I need someone to share my burdens. I'm tired of doing it alone.