If your talks are better than ours. If your laughs are harder than ours. If your sex is deeper than ours. If your connection is stronger than ours...then go on. But if when you see her, you feel the pain of wondering where I am. If when she laughs, you see my smile. If when she's gone, you look for the next distraction...weep. For that is love lost.

reminder

it's my not-so friendly, but "i want your best" little reminder that is kicking in this morning with a swift kick in the rear and EVEN WHEN YOU DON'T FEEL IT....GET UP! and i am not referring to the "hit the snooze button 9 times because you are exhausted and the bed is like a cozy cacoon swallowing you up." i'm referring to the "i'm wide awake. haven't slept a wink and want to just hide in this room with the shades down for the rest of the week."

GET UP. the battle doesn't get won by laying in the trenches. it is won by moving forward...one step at a time. with that in mind, i'm going where i don't want to go today. i'm drinking my coffee, putting a smile on my face, and taking on a new challenge. ready or not, here i come.

beauty

it isn't in the length of the stride or the width of the hips. it's not the curve of the back or the fullness of the lips. it's the tone of the voice. the strength of her character. the length of her love and the width of her patience. it's the fullness of her heart and the willingness of her grace. it's the choice that she makes to love you til death do you part.

positioning my vision

The actual definition of vision is to "realize". It is not what we see but what we realize. What we realize will materialize. So, today, I am positioning my vision. I am looking beyond the daily circumstances and holding on to what I "see" beyond this day...my dreams, my hopes, my destiny. That is what I am choosing to see today...peace, joy, love, prosperity, contentment...I know today that what my current circumstances may look like..they are not my future.

wondering...wandering...longing

I wanted to sit down and write something this morning...something that might actually inspire me. I strongly believe that sometimes, we must encourage ourselves. But, I don't really have anything to say...I don't have much that is burning inside to offer me hope...because I just don't know. I don't know anything- I can't see ahead- not even as far as the end of the day. I don't know what to expect. There is nothing sure. I wake up wondering what the day will bring- what the future holds- when my break will come. I spend the day wandering through it- hoping that I will see progress and find some sort of relief as far as my future is concerned...work, love, life. And I long for an open door...for a glimpse of a guarantee. A little peek of me resting and feeling safe...feeling loved.

Instead, I will rely on faith. I will rely on the hope that I have in believing in what I cannot see. In the confidence that I have in God...reminding myself that His timing is perfect and His work complete. Patience. Trust.

patience and trust

i'm feeling sad today. hurt by a couple of circumstances that grabbed me...by surprise? maybe not. but grabbed me nonetheless. i've been going through a struggle- a struggle for peace. a struggle for justice. i know- a struggle that is not new and will undoubtedly continue til eternity.

in all my strength- in all my determination to overcome- i am still saddened by the words of others. i am still effected by the ignorance and the hate that often comes from those who are simply hurting themselves.

and yet, i am reminded of what i have been aiming to focus on for the past few weeks. two virtues that are insanely difficult, but unbelievably necessary and effective to succeed/to thrive. patience. and trust.

oh God, i call out from the deepest parts of my being and petition you for an extra dose. i am in need of your Divine presence- your confidence in my existence- and your ability to rise above the these earthly circumstances. i plead for your grace- your generosity in my life. and in this cry- i will turn around and believe that my cries have been heard, observed, and received with the love and grace that only you can give.

grant me tonight...patience and trust.

MLK

I re-read my last post this morning and was reminded of the heart felt cry that must have been Dr. Martin Luther King's. "How long must I wait?" Wow.

Dr. King had a dream that he would not see fulfilled in his lifetime; however, he fought with fervency as if it would come today. Still, in our day, we wait to see his dream realized. We wait. We cry. We fight. We press on so that someday our children will see that dream as a reality.

As a white woman, I will never know the struggle that men and women of color fight as part of their normal day. I will never fully understand what it is like to accept this. However, I recognize that this is truth. I know that to utter that there is no longer a struggle because we drink from the same fountain and go to the same schools is a disgusting lie. I understand that every day, a man is judged falsely based on the color of his skin. I recognize this and know that it is true. I understand that we have made progress- as we should. I understand that we are moving forward, but to even for a second insinuate that this world we live in is post-racial- is a lie even the devil would blush to say.

Because I recognize this and because I believe the struggle to not only be one for those of color to fight, I will continue to live in this way...knowing that even the slightest of injustices cannot be tolerated...as Dr. King said, "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere." I will continue to pledge to the future of my children in a way that fights darkness with light and hatred with love....believing that as we continue to move forward...our children will recognize the dream of a man that lead with moral conviction...with belief in the possibilities of human kind...with faith that love would prevail.

"I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. That is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant." ~ Dr. Martin Luther King

Happy Birthday, Dr. King. We honor your spirit and we strive to see your conviction complete.