in a nutshell...

It seems necessary that I should stop and reflect for a minute. I have done so internally, but I feel like putting it in writing makes it more official. I cannot begin to tell you how extremely grateful I am for this place in my life. I have been blessed immeasurably and have come so far. I keep hearing people say, "Ten years ago, I was..." I'm chuckling to myself, because ten years ago for me was another life. I was in an abusive marriage- absorbed with grief almost on a daily basis. I lived a life of walking on eggshells and wondering what I would do or not do that would set the fire off. I would challenge myself to be tougher- to hold back the tears when I was publicly humiliated or somehow not do what he wanted after he'd push me out of a moving car because I was late from a hair appointment. That was ten years ago...a lifetime ago.

It's funny, because if I could pick one thing that I accomplished in 2009 it would be this...rediscovering my self-worth. Gaining back my confidence and value as a woman, a human being. It's amazing that, really, this took the past decade to regain. I continually remind myself of this- after all that I have been through, every valley, every trial, every sorrow, every joy- I have been blessed to have my right mind. I have been blessed to have a second chance and to be able to face that opportunity as a healthy, strong, and happy woman.

We can never expect where this journey will take us. Life has a mind of its own. We have to roll with the punches- take every step in stride and know that if it's been given to us, there is a reason and an opportunity for growth. I could never have imagined, in 2000, that I would make it out. I am blessed. I am incredibly blessed. My life is full. I look forward to 2010 with a bit of giddiness and expectancy- I am confident that this year is going to be icing on the cake for me. I realize more than ever before that I am capable of happiness. 2009 was an incredible year- it was hard at times, but overall, fulfilling and extremely productive. I was able to get back so much of what was born in me. For that, I can't even begin to express my gratitude. Life is good, my friends. Even when it isn't. It's good. It's breath and opportunity. Embrace it. Believe me when I tell you- I know.