the ride

i did exactly what i felt i needed to do last night. i went to my favorite little spot in DC, with my pen and journal, and a glass of wine. it was a night of reflection- just me and me...and according to my horoscope...it's just what i was supposed to do. "sit down at the negotiation table with you and you and focus on your goals. this will alleviate the internal struggle you are facing."

i thought that i would be attempting to find peace and de-stress. instead, i found myself already at peace and deeply inspired. i found out, yesterday, that my ex-husband just got married. i don't have the time to delve into how bizarre this is to me. but it is. it really made me think- reflect and remember how far i have come since those days- those hard days. yes, i am dealing with some drama issues right now, but the realization of my confidence and determination to settle for nothing less than the best for me- made me sit up proudly last night. i am unbelievably grateful for the opportunities that i have been given to make decisions that are good for me. for years, i felt remorse over bad decisions. i felt like a failure because i knew better, but chose worse. this ride that i am on is teaching me so much. i am so excited that i am in a place where i have the strength and confidence to do what i know is best.

today, i will take care of the situation that i mentioned yesterday. i feel good about it. i feel at peace about just being real and doing what is best for me. i feel confident that he will understand my sincerity. and really...i hope that he is motivated to be better and do the same for himself. i know, this sounds naiive...extremely hopeful...but i do hope. i continue to hope...even when this ride takes me where i don't expect to go. hope motivates me and to be honest...i haven't yet been disappointed in believing.