I've cried alot in the last few weeks. I mean...where I've tried to answer a question from someone and can barely choke back the tears. I've been sitting on my bed or brushing my teeth...and I just start crying. I'm sensitive these days...lol. Extra sensitive.
Tonight, I was talking to a brother- a spiritual brother- and could barely hold it together as I tried to tell him a couple of things that definitely did not merit tears. He was asking me what I had learned during my fast, what made me decide to fast, etc. All I could say was "with sacrifice comes blessing and I really need a blessing."
My blessing is coming in so many ways...I recognize the healing that is taking place. The healing of years of pent up pain. Pain that I held on to so tightly for fear that it might multiply. Pain that became a burden I was sure was safer to carry then to set it down. Healing for a soul that was so strong but so tired.
I am almost sad to see this fast come to a close. I am so grateful for these past few weeks. I couldn't even begin to express my thoughts...but my spirit understands. My spirit understands. And it is good.
"Allah, on this day, open for me the doors of your grace, send down on me its blessings, help me towards the causes of your mercy and give me a place in the comforts of Paradise, o the One who answers the call of the distressed."
No comments:
Post a Comment