somehow, i seem to find myself in the most peculiar situations. in the middle of it, i wonder how i got there and how the hell i am supposed to get out. i've done this a few times before and always say that i never make the same mistake twice. i may make a mistake because of the same core issue, but never the same mistake twice. well, this week, my dilemma is all new to me and i don't know how to find my way out.
i met someone a few weeks ago. we have been spending time together since and i have enjoyed his company. there were a couple of things that concerned me a little and reminded me to tread lightly- his age (he's younger than me), his ex (she's certifiably crazy), and the possibility of him drinking too much, too often (i figured i would find this out over time- in an attempt to not be judgmental). in getting to know him, i have found many things that i like about him. i have taken to him quickly. he comes from a dear family, he is sincere and caring, he is very responsive and has been nothing but a gentleman. we enjoy each other and have had fun spending time together.
last week, i met some of his friends- one in particular that gave me a very bad vibe. funny enough, he told me that this particular friend told him to watch out for me- he didn't like me. no problem, not fishy for someone to not like me- i can accept that. however, this guy is shady. he's older (much older than my friend) and he has trouble written all over him. i felt it as soon as i met him. i 100% believe that, because i am wise to his game or whatever you want to call it, he immediately had negative feelings about me. again, no problem; however, this concerned me because this is the circle that my friend runs with.
so, i continue to spend time with this man. he was in my home yesterday- he spent the night. he needed something from his bag and asked me to grab it- then suddenly changed his mind. i wasn't worried about this, mainly because i didn't care to go through his stuff anyhow. he continued to tell me that he had something in his bag that i would not approve of- maybe because he thought i would look anyhow- i'm not sure. well, he's right- i don't approve. i don't approve and i am trying to find a way to back track.
my suspicions were right about the people he runs with and now, i don't know how to get myself out of this situation and out of it quickly. i am nervous. i am by myself and do not in anyway want to be involved in this type of thing. i am worried about the combination of the issues involved and am not sure how to deal with it. he drinks too much. he runs with a bad crowd. he carries a gun.
should i talk to him honestly and share that, although, i like him, i am uncomfortable with this lifestyle and can't be a part of it? i have dealt with these issues before, but never with someone that i was involved with. it was always with the parents of the children that i worked with- in that situation, i never worried about myself because these parents appreciated my time with their children and knew that i cared deeply about them and their families. this is different. i had no idea that this was what i was getting myself into. i know that this man likes me and has said on several occasions that he knows i am a "good person", with good intentions. will he understand my concerns and accept my exit?
help.
4 comments:
Wow! This is a very weird, difficult, and scary situation you find yourself in. To be honest, I'm worried about you and I don't even know you outside this blog. Whatever you do, you have to do it soon...do not let this one linger on.
I think your first thought of being honest about not being comfortable with his lifestyle, and that you don't want to be a part of it is the best choice. Please have this conversation in a public place. It really concerns me that he knows where you live and that you live alone(?).
Also from your blog I get the feeling that he is beginning to like you as well, so he may attempt to talk you out of not seeing him anymore...DO NOT let him convince you to change your mind. Your initial feelings are right and this just isn't a good place for you to be. You deserve better than this, and I fear that the gun and his shady friend is just the icing on the cake with this guy.
Please be careful and keep posting so I know you're okay! I'm truly concerned.
Thank you for commenting. I am so stuck in this place of not knowing what to do. I am not typically frozen by fear, but this is a place I have never been before. I will keep posting.
Wow. Like Glen, I don't know you outside of this blog; but I'm so concerned for you. Do you have friends in this new town you're living in? Do any of them know this guy?
My first thought is that he didn't want you to see what was in the bag, and he announced right away that you wouldn't like it. So I don't think he would be too surprised to hear you're uncomfortable with it.
I see two options:
1) Tell him how you feel. Then cut him off.
2) Act as crazy as possible. Get weird, needy and psycho. Then maybe he'll get scared and leave. I know nothing scares me more than a crazy woman.
thanks for your comment. i am going to be honest with him today. the crazy- well, with most people this may work (although, i'm so laid back- i'd flub it up); however, he has been with a real crazy for a while and i think it may be too normal for him.
i know a couple of people who know him- the consensus is (after the fact) that he is a good guy- everyone likes him, but he runs with the wrong people. because i believe this, i think he will understand. i hope he will understand. another lesson learned!
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