30 days

I am starting my walk through Ramadan. Not because I have decided to claim a religious sector as my own or because I want to join a group of people...but because this 30 days of fasting comes at a time when I cannot turn it down. I am searching. For answers. For understanding. For peace. For patience. For so much more than I can find on my own- while in the midst of my normal routine, surrounded by my normal influences. I am in need of a sort of freedom that can only come from sacrifice. I am in need of a spiritual vulnerability that will allow for me to dig deeper than I have been able to in quite some time. I am in need...quite simply. I am in great need.

I acknowledge that need. I acknowledge that I am lacking. I acknowledge that what I can do in my own strength is just not good enough. There is so much missing in my life. As blessed as I am, there is an incredible void that has to be filled. This month...I want to allow room for that to be filled. I want to clear the distractions- I want to quiet the voices- the good intentioned voices and hear only that still small voice.

This struggle is mine. It is the one thing that I own. My life. My experience. My race. My battle. My win. My loss. My gain. My joy. My pain. I have come so much closer to being who I was created to be...I have come so far...but the journey continues and there are strongholds that still weigh me. Anchors that hang in the pit of my very core. I pray, with deep sincerity, that these 30 days will find me and my willingness to discover and to grow.